g-o-i-n-g d-o-w-n

I m feelin’ very down. I was all fine at one moment and suddenly, I m feelin’ so down. A few question popped on my head from yesterday’s convo with a fren of mine who said we all need a best fren. He said dont ever loose them and treasure them for life. Do I have a fren like that? Will anyone think of me like that ? I am just regular person with nothing special about me at all. I laugh stupidly, I m not very bright, not beautiful and really I m so not the ‘one of a kind sort of a person’. I m just a very normal, very plain and a very very boring person. He also did mention about love, and yes I hate when anyone talks about it. I don’t have much to say. I’ve never ever fallen in love and don’t have the slightest idea of what love is all about. Yes, I have watched millions of movies and read even more books than that but nothing is like experiencing it for real right. I don’t want to just experience and be done with it. I want to also treasure the relationship for life. I am not getting any younger and I will not be able to pause and return back in time to get back wat I missed. But at the moment I feel like my life is boring. I am always the one who would fall in the ‘she wouldn’t know about it’ category’. What is going to happen to me? Is that all about me? Again, nothing special, nothing extraordinary? What the hell am I suppose to do ? I don’t want to be alone…

And yes, it seems like every time I get a little close to someone, there will be somebody who wouldn’t like it. Why is that so? They will bug about it till I m not very close to that person anymore ..again..Y is that so? Y?y?y?

stupid gal-even more stupid boy

Let me a share an old tale..once upon a time, a girl came from quite a far a away place to this new town and she met this boy. NO, it did not get any cheesy..they just became good friends. They meet each other every day not like a date sort but it is plainly because they were working together. One day, the boy got a girl friend. She is like the talk of the town and of course like every other guy, the opportunity was too good to resist. He was in could 9 and hey, y are we only talking about the guy now? Wat about the girl? The one we talked about way earlier?? Well, like everybody else, he forgot her. He did think about..very liltle, only when he needed her. Now, we are getting somewhere aren’t we? One day, while the girl and the boy were talking, accidentally the girl said something about the boy’s girl friend. She said it in a very casual manner but the buy took it very seriously. The issue was not even big but since they boy shouted at her for talking about her gf, the girl was very offended. She could not believe that her good friend actually shouted at her like that for a small issue, something in her own opinion not an issue at all. Not only that, he actually ‘published’ this incident publicly but of course, he did not mention that person’s name and he think it is perfectly alright to do that. Now you tell me, if u r in da boy’s place what would you do? and if u r in gal’s place wat would u do? It sounds like a very lame, everyday story rite, but it is not. The gal was really very hurt, really hurt. I think it is da fact that she liked da boy so much and she could not accept the fact that he actually shouted at her, da person whom he knew longer for a gal who just newly came to her life. But then again it is all fair in love right. he loves his gf..but the gal, is just another fren. Well, that is it I guess…she could not forgive him and he does not seem to be bothered. Anyways, life has to go on right 

???

i m confused..sad.. and at times i do get angry.. and yes i do really laugh hard at silly jokes...
NO NO..i m not having PMS...
i get angry for something really silly...
for instance, my friend didnt want to share something with me cuz she said i might share that piece of info with the person who is involved.
oh god ! when will u all realize that i am not leaking out the info but amending the problem ! i have my own brains..i noe wat to do..wat is right and wat is wrong..
and honestly, my brains works very well..u dont have to judge me..i noe myself very well..HAIZ..


and i am cool about something major..
for instance, a freak i noe is always boasting about herself and about the shit the person is going through at all times. she tends to repeat the same crap again and again and again and again AND ...............!!!!!!
i mean when will that idiot learn that, there is no such thing as 'undo' button in life?
if u have done something shitty..and u r regretting about it means...DONT REPEAT IT AGAIN !!
wat is so cool about boasting about it and admitting that u tend to do it at all times and bla bla bla...
i've got a life..so pls, u dont have to share urs with me..i m TIRED of hearing it !

OK back to da point..i may have sounded angrier with da second scenario but i think da first issue had a bigger impact on me then da second one..cuz well i m always hearing da same crappy stuff again and again whereas the first scenario is quite alien to me QUITE ..

for da time being...my mood is swinging ***up***down***up***down****up***down**